Friday, August 24, 2012

Reprieve!

My darling husband has improved so much that today he is being moved to Heritage Lodge, the lovely nursing home which he so recently enjoyed staying in. This time he is going into 'high care' and, at least at first, sharing a room with a very nice gentleman who was in the same hospital ward with him until a few days ago. He will be in the window bed, looking out on a garden.

Yesterday he was in very good spirits, and he has been pain-free for some time. His mind is wandering a bit, which may be due to the infection he has had pushing his blood sugar up high, in which case it should settle down a bit.

I don't think he will ever visit our home again and see our cats whom he loves so much. At present the only way he can be moved from bed to chair is to be hoisted in a sling! It takes two nurses to adjust his position in bed; he himself cannot move his own body so as to get comfortable.

Truthfully, I still believe he is dying, but that he has chosen to do it more gradually and comfortably than at first seemed likely. Much as I was thinking I didn't want him to linger on in a dependent state, now that it is happening I am glad and relieved. This is largely because he is in such excellent spirits, and I know how well looked after he will be.

He has never lost his sense of humour; also he tells me he has a lot of work to do, and sometimes is partly in a dreamland where this is being accomplished. I don't, now, try and bring him back to this reality; I enter into his as much as I can. However he recognises all his friends who have been visiting in the hospital, and is always well aware who I am.

His older son and his daughter arrived late last night. I think the knowledge that they were coming helped him rally as he has done. Now that the matter is not so urgent, his younger son, who has a tricky situation at work, has deferred his visit for a couple of weeks — which is good; it will give my darling something else to look forward to.

It's also an easier adjustment for me to living alone. He'll be only five minutes away and there are no restrictions on visiting hours. Meanwhile, everyone says I look well. I have been through much grief of course — but also life is much more restful now that I don't have all the physical care-taking to do.

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